1
00:00:01,283 --> 00:00:03,284
[?]

2
00:00:09,158 --> 00:00:10,608
[CLEARS THROAT]

3
00:00:11,143 --> 00:00:12,494
I am ready, master.

4
00:00:12,495 --> 00:00:14,563
Hm? Oh. Oh, good, good.

5
00:00:15,882 --> 00:00:17,549
Shall we leave now?

6
00:00:17,550 --> 00:00:18,600
Uh, leave for where?

7
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:21,953
[CHUCKLING] Why...?

8
00:00:21,954 --> 00:00:23,422
Why'd you do that, Jeannie?

9
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:25,657
Because you said
that we were going for a drive,

10
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:26,658
and I am ready.

11
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,343
Oh, I love to ride in your car.

12
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:29,293
Oh, uh, I'm...
I'm sorry,

13
00:00:29,294 --> 00:00:31,063
I can't take you
for a drive today.

14
00:00:31,064 --> 00:00:32,731
You promised.

15
00:00:32,732 --> 00:00:34,082
Yea... I...
I know I did, Jeannie,

16
00:00:34,083 --> 00:00:35,584
but I have an awful lot
of work to do.

17
00:00:35,585 --> 00:00:36,785
[STAMMERING]

18
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:37,919
It's very technical.

19
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,905
Would you mind giving me
my papers back, huh?

20
00:00:39,906 --> 00:00:41,389
[SIGHS]

21
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:45,993
Oh, well, thank you.

22
00:00:45,994 --> 00:00:48,062
Oh, thanks.

23
00:00:48,063 --> 00:00:49,531
[CLEARS THROAT]

24
00:00:49,532 --> 00:00:53,934
You, uh, you are sure that you
cannot go for a drive today?

25
00:00:53,935 --> 00:00:56,371
Yes, I'm... I'm, uh...
I'm positive.

26
00:00:56,372 --> 00:00:58,573
Maybe tomorrow, huh?

27
00:00:58,574 --> 00:01:00,508
It is such a pretty car.

28
00:01:02,878 --> 00:01:05,613
Perhaps I could go driving
without you.

29
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:07,215
Yeah, yeah,
why don't you do that.

30
00:01:07,216 --> 00:01:08,816
Thank you, master.

31
00:01:10,919 --> 00:01:12,199
[ENGINE STARTS]

32
00:01:19,395 --> 00:01:21,730
Jeannie.
Jeannie!

33
00:01:21,731 --> 00:01:22,731
Jeannie!

34
00:01:23,932 --> 00:01:25,212
[TIRES SQUEAL]

35
00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:28,252
Jeannie! Jeannie!

36
00:01:36,295 --> 00:01:38,062
[?]

37
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,001
[?]

38
00:02:29,948 --> 00:02:31,999
[?]

39
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:38,572
[?]

40
00:02:39,558 --> 00:02:40,558
[HORN HONKS]

41
00:02:40,559 --> 00:02:41,860
[TIRES SCREECH]

42
00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:42,894
Oh, I...

43
00:02:42,895 --> 00:02:43,928
[CHUCKLES]

44
00:02:43,929 --> 00:02:45,764
Hi, how are ya,
Dr. Bellows?

45
00:02:45,765 --> 00:02:47,045
Are you all right, sir?

46
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:52,420
I was until I got
on the street where you live.

47
00:02:52,421 --> 00:02:55,589
That was your car that I just
saw moving down the street

48
00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:57,758
without a driver in it,
wasn't it? Hm?

49
00:02:57,759 --> 00:02:59,460
Oh, yes, yes, well,
I can explain that...

50
00:02:59,461 --> 00:03:02,563
Uh, don't explain it,
Major Nelson.

51
00:03:02,564 --> 00:03:06,835
I'm gonna try to convince myself
that this never happened.

52
00:03:09,872 --> 00:03:11,152
Drop in any time, sir.

53
00:03:13,092 --> 00:03:14,893
[?]

54
00:03:35,564 --> 00:03:37,465
[TIRES SCREECH]

55
00:03:37,466 --> 00:03:38,900
[HONKING]

56
00:03:40,769 --> 00:03:42,803
[ALL CARS HONKING]

57
00:03:56,352 --> 00:03:58,603
Good morning, officer.

58
00:03:58,604 --> 00:04:00,105
Is something wrong?

59
00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:01,673
Do you know this is
a one-way street?

60
00:04:01,674 --> 00:04:02,674
Mm.

61
00:04:02,675 --> 00:04:04,109
I was only going one way.

62
00:04:04,110 --> 00:04:07,395
Very amusing, but you went
through a red light to get here.

63
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,347
Let me see
your driver's license.

64
00:04:09,348 --> 00:04:10,565
My what?

65
00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:12,132
Your license to drive.

66
00:04:12,133 --> 00:04:13,234
Do you have one?

67
00:04:13,235 --> 00:04:16,020
Oh, yes, but it is a little old.

68
00:04:16,021 --> 00:04:17,589
You mean, it's expired?

69
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,857
To tell you the truth,
I would not be at all surprised.

70
00:04:19,858 --> 00:04:20,858
Uh, let's see it.

71
00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:27,999
There is a license
to drive a chariot.

72
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,518
Yes, I told you
it was a little old.

73
00:04:31,486 --> 00:04:33,354
Is this your car?

74
00:04:33,355 --> 00:04:35,875
Oh, no, Major Nelson
let me borrow it.

75
00:04:38,093 --> 00:04:39,093
Here.

76
00:04:39,094 --> 00:04:40,428
Thank you.

77
00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:41,963
It is very pretty.

78
00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:43,397
[GIGGLES]

79
00:04:44,532 --> 00:04:47,152
Uh, what do I do with it?

80
00:04:47,153 --> 00:04:49,821
Bring it with you when you come
to court Monday morning.

81
00:04:49,822 --> 00:04:51,239
Court?

82
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:52,506
Oh, I do not think Major Nelson

83
00:04:52,507 --> 00:04:54,947
would like it
if I went to court.

84
00:04:56,244 --> 00:04:58,095
You have a nice face.

85
00:04:58,096 --> 00:05:01,032
I am sure you would not want
to see Major Nelson unhappy.

86
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,201
If you will forget
about everything,

87
00:05:03,202 --> 00:05:05,503
I will give you
anything you wish.

88
00:05:05,504 --> 00:05:09,958
Are you, um, offering me money?

89
00:05:09,959 --> 00:05:11,793
If that is what you wish.

90
00:05:11,794 --> 00:05:12,961
How much?

91
00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:15,630
Oh, how much would you like?

92
00:05:15,631 --> 00:05:17,015
Ten dollars?

93
00:05:17,016 --> 00:05:18,899
If that is what you want.

94
00:05:23,472 --> 00:05:28,209
Attempted bribery, $10.

95
00:05:28,210 --> 00:05:29,477
Twenty dollars?

96
00:05:29,478 --> 00:05:33,448
Twenty dollars.
[HORNS HONKING]

97
00:05:35,450 --> 00:05:38,653
All right. All right!

98
00:05:38,654 --> 00:05:40,071
May I go now?

99
00:05:40,072 --> 00:05:41,823
Not in this car you can't.

100
00:05:41,824 --> 00:05:42,991
But why not?

101
00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:45,210
Because this isn't a chariot.

102
00:05:45,211 --> 00:05:47,595
You don't have a license, lady.

103
00:05:47,596 --> 00:05:51,466
Well, what are you going
to do with the car?

104
00:05:51,467 --> 00:05:53,517
I'm going to have it towed in.

105
00:05:53,518 --> 00:05:56,020
Would you step out, please?

106
00:05:57,673 --> 00:05:59,073
[ALL CARS HONKING]

107
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:13,521
You went down a one-way street
the wrong way.

108
00:06:13,522 --> 00:06:15,189
Well, that is
what the policeman said,

109
00:06:15,190 --> 00:06:17,058
but the red light was
so tiny, I did not see...

110
00:06:17,059 --> 00:06:18,993
And you went
through a red light?

111
00:06:18,994 --> 00:06:21,863
Y-yes, but it was not
my fault.

112
00:06:21,864 --> 00:06:24,298
And they towed the car away?

113
00:06:24,299 --> 00:06:25,432
Oh, yes, master.

114
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:27,501
But... But otherwise,
I had no problem at all.

115
00:06:27,502 --> 00:06:28,770
[CHUCKLING] Yeah.

116
00:06:30,873 --> 00:06:32,923
Jeannie, you... You...

117
00:06:36,762 --> 00:06:39,297
I gotta get my car back.

118
00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:41,599
Well, have you, uh,
talked to the police yet?

119
00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,401
Yeah, I talked
to the sergeant at the desk.

120
00:06:43,402 --> 00:06:45,369
He said an officer named
Anderson gave Jeannie

121
00:06:45,370 --> 00:06:46,370
the ticket.

122
00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:47,738
Anderson.
Don Anderson.

123
00:06:47,739 --> 00:06:49,707
Don Anderson. I've heard
that name before.

124
00:06:49,708 --> 00:06:51,209
He was written up
in <i>Theme</i> magazine

125
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:53,812
for giving more tickets than
any other policeman in America.

126
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:56,181
Oh, that guy. How'd you
get mixed up with him?

127
00:06:56,182 --> 00:06:57,782
Roger, I didn't
get mixed up with him.

128
00:06:57,783 --> 00:06:59,851
Jeannie got mixed...
What's the matter with you?

129
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:02,053
Well, Dr. Bellows could
probably get your car back.

130
00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,621
He has the whole Air Force
behind him.

131
00:07:03,622 --> 00:07:05,123
Naw, he'd never do it.

132
00:07:05,124 --> 00:07:07,391
He'd say I deserved what I was
getting by lending my car

133
00:07:07,392 --> 00:07:09,160
to somebody who'd... Who'd, uh...

134
00:07:09,161 --> 00:07:11,429
Hey, wait a minute.

135
00:07:11,430 --> 00:07:13,063
I can get my car back
within the hour.

136
00:07:13,064 --> 00:07:14,632
What do you mean?

137
00:07:14,633 --> 00:07:16,434
I know how to get Dr. Bellows
to do it for me.

138
00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:17,836
Oh, that should be easy.

139
00:07:17,837 --> 00:07:20,004
All you have to do is to tell
him that you lent your car

140
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:21,773
to a genie who hasn't driven
in 2000 years,

141
00:07:21,774 --> 00:07:23,041
and she's a little rusty.

142
00:07:23,042 --> 00:07:25,743
No, no, all I need to use
is a little psychology.

143
00:07:25,744 --> 00:07:27,745
[?]

144
00:07:31,750 --> 00:07:34,270
Guy finally gets a genie,
and they took his car away.

145
00:07:36,021 --> 00:07:38,472
I'm sorry I'm late
with these lab reports, sir.

146
00:07:38,473 --> 00:07:40,842
I would have been here sooner,
but I had to wait for a taxi.

147
00:07:40,843 --> 00:07:42,376
Taxi?
Where's your car?

148
00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:44,045
You mean, the secret
experimental car

149
00:07:44,046 --> 00:07:45,412
that you saw me in this morning?

150
00:07:45,413 --> 00:07:46,413
Mm.

151
00:07:46,414 --> 00:07:48,082
Well, the police have it.

152
00:07:48,083 --> 00:07:49,250
Uh, that's about it, sir.

153
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:51,018
I think I'd better
get back to work.

154
00:07:51,019 --> 00:07:52,186
Just a moment.

155
00:07:52,187 --> 00:07:53,654
Yes, sir.

156
00:07:53,655 --> 00:07:56,373
Did you say the police have it?

157
00:07:56,374 --> 00:07:57,725
[CHUCKLING] Oh, yes, sir.

158
00:07:57,726 --> 00:08:01,462
They impounded it for some
minor traffic and violation.

159
00:08:01,463 --> 00:08:03,480
It's nothing really important.

160
00:08:03,481 --> 00:08:04,531
Major Nelson.

161
00:08:04,532 --> 00:08:05,967
Yes, sir.

162
00:08:05,968 --> 00:08:08,636
It's full of secret equipment
and you let it fall

163
00:08:08,637 --> 00:08:10,171
into the hands of the police?

164
00:08:10,172 --> 00:08:12,273
Well, there's really nothing
I could do about it.

165
00:08:12,274 --> 00:08:13,941
They just took it.

166
00:08:13,942 --> 00:08:16,610
Well, they're not gonna
get away with that.

167
00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:18,913
The name of the officer
that impounded it

168
00:08:18,914 --> 00:08:19,947
is named Don Anderson.

169
00:08:19,948 --> 00:08:20,948
Pretty tough guy.

170
00:08:20,949 --> 00:08:22,116
Oh, tough?
Yeah.

171
00:08:22,117 --> 00:08:23,117
So is the Air Force.

172
00:08:23,852 --> 00:08:25,036
Hello? Sergeant.

173
00:08:25,037 --> 00:08:26,453
Get me the police commissioner.

174
00:08:26,454 --> 00:08:28,222
You'll have your car back
within an hour.

175
00:08:28,223 --> 00:08:29,423
No, I don't know, sir.

176
00:08:29,424 --> 00:08:30,925
I don't think they'll
give it back.

177
00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:32,894
Don Anderson...
Oh, won't he?

178
00:08:32,895 --> 00:08:34,295
Well, we'll see about that.

179
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,580
[?]

180
00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:39,584
I see. Uh...

181
00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,452
I wasn't aware of that, sir.

182
00:08:43,922 --> 00:08:45,823
Thank you, commissioner.

183
00:08:45,824 --> 00:08:47,858
The Air Force
appreciates it, sir.

184
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,728
Goodbye.

185
00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:56,901
Well, you didn't give me all
the facts in the case, major.

186
00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:58,302
The facts, sir?

187
00:08:58,303 --> 00:09:01,171
You allowed a young lady to
drive this secret car of yours.

188
00:09:01,172 --> 00:09:02,406
Oh, that, yes, well, uh...

189
00:09:02,407 --> 00:09:05,776
This Officer Anderson,
who issued the summons,

190
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:07,011
is objecting strenuously,

191
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:09,547
but because of the military
secrecy involved,

192
00:09:09,548 --> 00:09:12,149
the commissioner's agreed
to drop all the charges.

193
00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,485
Oh, that's wonderful, sir.

194
00:09:14,486 --> 00:09:16,721
You certainly handled
this brilliantly, I must say.

195
00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:18,923
Mm, didn't I.

196
00:09:18,924 --> 00:09:20,891
I don't know anyone
who could've done so well.

197
00:09:20,892 --> 00:09:22,493
Well, after all,
I am a psychiatrist.

198
00:09:22,494 --> 00:09:24,011
We deal in all kinds
of situations.

199
00:09:24,012 --> 00:09:26,463
Those years of study have really
paid off, haven't they?

200
00:09:26,464 --> 00:09:27,832
Well, I'll go pick up the car.

201
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:29,600
Oh, major.
Yes?

202
00:09:29,601 --> 00:09:30,801
I think this is the first time

203
00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:34,204
I've ever had
a snow job in July.

204
00:09:34,205 --> 00:09:36,240
That's all, major.

205
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:43,114
[?]

206
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:56,744
Oh, he is back.

207
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:01,381
Oh, master! Master,
you got our car back.

208
00:10:01,382 --> 00:10:03,150
Not our car.
No, no, my car.

209
00:10:03,151 --> 00:10:05,152
You're not to go near
that car, Jeannie.

210
00:10:05,153 --> 00:10:06,687
You mean,
I cannot drive anymore?

211
00:10:06,688 --> 00:10:08,355
Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

212
00:10:08,356 --> 00:10:09,506
Oh, but I love to drive.

213
00:10:09,507 --> 00:10:11,625
It is more fun
than a flying carpet.

214
00:10:11,626 --> 00:10:13,828
Jeannie, you are not...
If you go near that car,

215
00:10:13,829 --> 00:10:15,730
I'm gonna get in
a lot of trouble.

216
00:10:15,731 --> 00:10:19,499
Oh. Well, I do not want you
to get into trouble.

217
00:10:19,500 --> 00:10:20,567
That's a good girl.

218
00:10:23,038 --> 00:10:24,638
Oh, I'm sorry.

219
00:10:26,041 --> 00:10:30,745
Say, uh, Jeannie,
how'd you like a bicycle?

220
00:10:30,746 --> 00:10:33,080
I'm sorry I'm not
a better driver, master.

221
00:10:33,081 --> 00:10:34,181
Oh, that's all right.

222
00:10:34,182 --> 00:10:36,016
[SIGHS]

223
00:10:36,017 --> 00:10:38,152
I am too stupid to learn.

224
00:10:38,153 --> 00:10:41,856
Oh, no, you're not, it's just,
well, our laws are different.

225
00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:44,125
It's not like driving
in the old days.

226
00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:46,961
You're right, master.

227
00:10:46,962 --> 00:10:48,929
I could never learn
to drive here.

228
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:51,932
Sure, you could.
It's easy.

229
00:10:51,933 --> 00:10:54,735
Well, I don't know, it would
take me 100 years to learn.

230
00:10:54,736 --> 00:10:56,336
Jeannie, I could teach you
in an hour,

231
00:10:56,337 --> 00:10:57,404
just like that, really.

232
00:10:57,405 --> 00:10:59,140
Could you, master?
Sure.

233
00:10:59,141 --> 00:11:00,591
I am ready.

234
00:11:03,312 --> 00:11:06,564
You are the most wonderful
master in the whole world.

235
00:11:06,565 --> 00:11:07,865
But not the brightest.

236
00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:09,066
[CHUCKLES]

237
00:11:11,369 --> 00:11:13,571
All right, I'm gonna teach you
about intersections.

238
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:15,439
I want you to go back
to that one-way street.

239
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,742
Oh, I want to learn, master.

240
00:11:17,743 --> 00:11:19,911
With me in the car,
there's nothing to worry about.

241
00:11:19,912 --> 00:11:21,211
Okay, start her up.

242
00:11:21,212 --> 00:11:22,780
[ENGINE STARTS]

243
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:27,835
[TIRES SQUEAL]

244
00:11:27,836 --> 00:11:30,103
We're coming to the one-way
street, turn left.

245
00:11:30,104 --> 00:11:31,104
Left.
Right.

246
00:11:31,105 --> 00:11:33,106
Right.
Huh?

247
00:11:36,595 --> 00:11:38,596
[TIRES SQUEAL]

248
00:11:38,597 --> 00:11:41,098
[ALL CARS HONKING]

249
00:11:43,936 --> 00:11:46,119
Jeannie, do you know
what you've done to me?

250
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,933
You've done it to me again.

251
00:11:58,934 --> 00:11:59,984
Uh, hello, officer.

252
00:11:59,985 --> 00:12:01,501
Having a good time?

253
00:12:01,502 --> 00:12:03,287
I'll just move it out
of the way right now.

254
00:12:03,288 --> 00:12:06,124
You were driving from
the wrong side of the car.

255
00:12:06,125 --> 00:12:08,108
Oh, yes, well, it's one
of these cars we used to...

256
00:12:08,109 --> 00:12:09,476
Hey, wait a minute,

257
00:12:09,477 --> 00:12:10,845
I've seen this car before...

258
00:12:10,846 --> 00:12:13,598
Aren't you Major Anthony Nelson?

259
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:15,933
Yes, yes, that's correct,
United States Air Force.

260
00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:19,353
I've sure been anxious
to get your autograph.

261
00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:21,689
Oh, I'd be glad
to give it to you.

262
00:12:21,690 --> 00:12:27,728
Violation of city ordinances
307, 308 and 309.

263
00:12:27,729 --> 00:12:29,963
Here you are,
please sign right there.

264
00:12:31,683 --> 00:12:33,684
[?]

265
00:12:38,389 --> 00:12:40,357
[?]

266
00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,487
ROGER: "Astronaut who found
his way through space

267
00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:12,556
gets lost on a one-way street ."

268
00:13:12,557 --> 00:13:14,225
[WHISTLES]

269
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:15,827
Hi, Tony, I'm just reading
about you.

270
00:13:15,828 --> 00:13:17,328
Did you, uh, see
the front page yet?

271
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:19,297
Yes, I've seen it,
and Dr. Bellows has seen it,

272
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,165
and General Peterson
has seen it, and...

273
00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:23,050
It's a good picture of you.
A good picture?

274
00:13:23,051 --> 00:13:24,518
What are you talking about?

275
00:13:24,519 --> 00:13:25,837
I don't go around like that.

276
00:13:25,838 --> 00:13:27,672
Wait a minute, what happened?

277
00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,223
I was teaching Jeannie
how to drive.

278
00:13:29,224 --> 00:13:30,691
I should've had
my head examined.

279
00:13:30,692 --> 00:13:32,926
I think you're going to.
Yeah?

280
00:13:32,927 --> 00:13:35,429
I have been looking for you,
Major Nelson. Yes, sir.

281
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:38,132
I've just had a meeting with
General Peterson about you.

282
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,433
Oh, how is the general?

283
00:13:39,434 --> 00:13:40,851
The general is upset.

284
00:13:40,852 --> 00:13:43,587
He just had a call from
Washington from General Burke.

285
00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:45,223
General Burke is upset.

286
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,558
Well, if you ask me,
the whole thing's pretty funny.

287
00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:49,477
Oh, uh, do you?

288
00:13:49,478 --> 00:13:52,529
The press has been
calling me all morning.

289
00:13:52,530 --> 00:13:54,831
They're having quite a field day
with this little joke.

290
00:13:54,832 --> 00:13:56,066
Oh, is that right, sir.

291
00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,734
Well, I'm sure
they'll forget about it

292
00:13:57,735 --> 00:14:00,037
as soon as you call the police
commissioner again and...

293
00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:02,406
Well, General Peterson
has asked me not to call anyone.

294
00:14:02,407 --> 00:14:04,808
You see, uh, Officer Anderson,

295
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:06,676
who issued the ticket
to your friend,

296
00:14:06,677 --> 00:14:09,013
is complaining
that, uh, the Air Force

297
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:11,832
has exercised undue influence.

298
00:14:11,833 --> 00:14:14,067
Sounds like a troublemaker
to me.

299
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:18,089
General Peterson asked me
to tell you that from now on,

300
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:19,390
you're on your own.

301
00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,425
Do you understand, major?

302
00:14:21,426 --> 00:14:22,677
Oh, yes, yes, sir.

303
00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:25,846
Oh, nice picture of you, major.

304
00:14:27,315 --> 00:14:31,068
And, uh, we'll be reading
the newspapers very closely.

305
00:14:34,939 --> 00:14:36,440
You see,
even Dr. Bellows likes it.

306
00:14:36,441 --> 00:14:37,441
Huh? Aw.

307
00:14:37,442 --> 00:14:38,809
Boy, listen to him,

308
00:14:38,810 --> 00:14:41,011
you'd think you'd committed
a murder or something.

309
00:14:41,012 --> 00:14:43,981
All you did was go down
a one-way street the wrong way.

310
00:14:43,982 --> 00:14:46,083
Hey, that's pretty funny
when you think about it.

311
00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:47,585
A one-way street...

312
00:14:47,586 --> 00:14:49,102
[BOTH LAUGHING]

313
00:14:49,103 --> 00:14:51,204
Yeah, I just hope the judge
thinks it's that funny.

314
00:14:51,205 --> 00:14:53,674
Well, you shouldn't have had
Dr. Bellows fix that ticket.

315
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,142
They're really mad now.

316
00:14:55,143 --> 00:14:57,461
When Officer Anderson gets you
in front of that court...

317
00:14:57,462 --> 00:14:59,563
He's going to love you.

318
00:14:59,564 --> 00:15:01,565
Huh? Oh, why didn't I
think about this before.

319
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,267
All you have to do is apologize.

320
00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:04,217
What are you talking about?

321
00:15:04,218 --> 00:15:05,285
Just say you're sorry.

322
00:15:05,286 --> 00:15:07,355
Have a nice man to man
talk with him.

323
00:15:07,356 --> 00:15:08,272
Yeah, I don't know, Roge.

324
00:15:08,273 --> 00:15:09,806
Doesn't sound
like it would work...

325
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,509
Well, you got nothing to lose.

326
00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:13,410
Yeah, and I suppose it...
I could try it.

327
00:15:13,411 --> 00:15:15,812
I could go down to the station
and ask the desk sergeant

328
00:15:15,813 --> 00:15:17,214
if he could put me on...

329
00:15:17,215 --> 00:15:18,915
No, no, no,
don't go to the station.

330
00:15:18,916 --> 00:15:21,118
Too cold. Go to his house.
That's nice and friendly.

331
00:15:21,119 --> 00:15:22,603
Nice and warm, and remember:
Yeah?

332
00:15:22,604 --> 00:15:24,455
BOTH:
Be jolly nice.

333
00:15:25,157 --> 00:15:26,874
[?]

334
00:15:27,625 --> 00:15:28,926
[DOORBELL RINGS]

335
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:30,821
[CLEARS THROAT]

336
00:15:32,664 --> 00:15:34,865
Uh, Officer Anderson?
Yeah?

337
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:37,401
Oh, hello, major.
Hello.

338
00:15:37,402 --> 00:15:38,869
What do you want?

339
00:15:38,870 --> 00:15:40,771
Oh, I was just wondering
if I could talk to you

340
00:15:40,772 --> 00:15:43,107
a couple of minutes.
Come on in.

341
00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,275
Thank you.

342
00:15:48,012 --> 00:15:50,181
What can I do for you, major?

343
00:15:50,182 --> 00:15:53,684
Frankly, I'd like to talk to you
about the summons you gave me.

344
00:15:53,685 --> 00:15:55,186
Oh, you would.
Yeah.

345
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:56,654
Just let me get a cigarette.

346
00:15:56,655 --> 00:15:58,238
TONY:
Of course.

347
00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:00,240
[?]

348
00:16:02,844 --> 00:16:03,995
ANDERSON:
Thank you.

349
00:16:03,996 --> 00:16:05,696
Sit down, major.
Oh, thank you.

350
00:16:06,464 --> 00:16:07,731
Probably more comfortable.

351
00:16:07,732 --> 00:16:09,800
Yes, I'm terribly sorry.

352
00:16:09,801 --> 00:16:13,770
Say, uh, you, uh...
You have quite a reputation.

353
00:16:13,771 --> 00:16:17,141
You, uh, I-I read the article
in <i>Theme</i> magazine last week,

354
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,909
and it was excellent,
really excellent.

355
00:16:18,910 --> 00:16:20,811
Oh, thank you.

356
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:24,548
You have quite
a reputation yourself.

357
00:16:24,549 --> 00:16:27,151
Well, that's part of the reason
I wanted to talk to you.

358
00:16:27,152 --> 00:16:29,453
I suppose being celebrities
of a sort.

359
00:16:29,454 --> 00:16:32,723
You mean, you came to talk
to me about the ticket?

360
00:16:32,724 --> 00:16:34,424
Yes. Um...

361
00:16:34,425 --> 00:16:38,195
Well, I wanted to apologize
for what happened.

362
00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:41,598
You mean you admit
you were wrong?

363
00:16:41,599 --> 00:16:43,234
Yes, I did make a mistake.

364
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:44,952
You violated the law.

365
00:16:44,953 --> 00:16:48,239
Well, I-I don't want you
to think it was intentional.

366
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,457
It certain...
But you did.

367
00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:52,593
Yes, yes, I did, and, uh, I...

368
00:16:52,594 --> 00:16:55,663
Now that I've said I'm sorry,
I feel much better for it.

369
00:16:55,664 --> 00:16:57,063
Um, I'm a serviceman myself.

370
00:16:57,064 --> 00:16:58,582
I understand about duty.

371
00:16:58,583 --> 00:17:01,752
Right, well, I'll see you
in court on Monday.

372
00:17:01,753 --> 00:17:04,121
Huh? Oh, thank you.

373
00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:06,957
Well, it's certainly been nice
talking to you, and...

374
00:17:06,958 --> 00:17:09,343
Oh, what a splendid-looking,
young chap.

375
00:17:09,344 --> 00:17:11,095
Is this your son?
My nephew.

376
00:17:11,096 --> 00:17:12,396
Loves the space age.

377
00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:14,265
Big fan of yours.
Oh, really.

378
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:17,985
Say, uh, I'll bet he would
like a model of the X-15.

379
00:17:17,986 --> 00:17:19,687
Is that an offer?

380
00:17:19,688 --> 00:17:21,805
Oh, well, yes, yes.

381
00:17:21,806 --> 00:17:23,039
Oh, thank you.

382
00:17:23,040 --> 00:17:24,641
If you would just give me
his address,

383
00:17:24,642 --> 00:17:26,026
I could...
I beg your pardon.

384
00:17:26,027 --> 00:17:27,577
I said if you could
give me his address,

385
00:17:27,578 --> 00:17:28,862
I could send it immediately.

386
00:17:28,863 --> 00:17:31,481
Oh, that won't be
necessary, major.

387
00:17:31,482 --> 00:17:34,284
The offer is all
I wanted to hear.

388
00:17:35,653 --> 00:17:36,653
Nice boy.

389
00:17:36,654 --> 00:17:39,623
You just tried to bribe me.

390
00:17:42,127 --> 00:17:44,178
[?]

391
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,915
[WHISTLES]

392
00:17:48,916 --> 00:17:49,949
Hi.

393
00:17:49,950 --> 00:17:51,051
Oh, hi, Roge.

394
00:17:51,052 --> 00:17:53,253
Hi, hi. Can I talk
to you a minute?

395
00:17:53,254 --> 00:17:55,155
I'm... I'm sorry,
I'm kind of busy right now,

396
00:17:55,156 --> 00:17:56,590
I'm going to court.

397
00:17:56,591 --> 00:17:58,858
Yeah, well, that's what I'd
like to talk to you about.

398
00:17:58,859 --> 00:18:00,494
I'd like to go with you.

399
00:18:00,495 --> 00:18:01,662
What for?

400
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,564
Well, I thought maybe
I could be your lawyer.

401
00:18:03,565 --> 00:18:04,665
You don't have one, do you?

402
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:06,032
I don't think I need a lawyer.

403
00:18:06,033 --> 00:18:08,502
Well, that's where you almost
made a very serious mistake.

404
00:18:08,503 --> 00:18:10,170
You gotta have somebody
speak for you.

405
00:18:10,171 --> 00:18:12,772
It's just a small, little case.
It's a traffic case, you know.

406
00:18:12,773 --> 00:18:14,874
There's nothing small
or simple in law, you know.

407
00:18:14,875 --> 00:18:16,042
What do you know about it?

408
00:18:16,043 --> 00:18:19,112
Well, I studied pre-law
before I was an astronaut.

409
00:18:19,113 --> 00:18:20,214
I probably could fix it up,

410
00:18:20,215 --> 00:18:21,615
so you wouldn't get
a fine at all.

411
00:18:21,616 --> 00:18:24,150
Hey, you did, you had
a whole year of law.

412
00:18:24,151 --> 00:18:26,019
Listen, if you can't help
your best friend,

413
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,354
why, who can you help?

414
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,456
Hey, that's right.
You'll be out in two seconds.

415
00:18:29,457 --> 00:18:31,024
You would be
a lot better than me.

416
00:18:31,025 --> 00:18:32,359
Just let me do all the talking.

417
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:34,480
Don't say anything.
TONY: Yeah.

418
00:18:37,615 --> 00:18:40,350
JUDGE: You've heard the facts
of the case, Mr. Zane.

419
00:18:40,351 --> 00:18:42,186
What have you got
to say about it?

420
00:18:42,187 --> 00:18:44,488
ZANE: I have been stealing
fruits, Your Honor,

421
00:18:44,489 --> 00:18:46,356
but I've been out of work
for four months

422
00:18:46,357 --> 00:18:49,443
and have six kids
at home to feed.

423
00:18:49,444 --> 00:18:52,279
As soon as I get a job,
I'll pay it all back.

424
00:18:53,648 --> 00:18:54,848
Mm-hm.

425
00:18:56,251 --> 00:18:57,251
All right.

426
00:18:59,270 --> 00:19:04,675
I'm sorry, but I have
to give you $30 or 30 days.

427
00:19:04,676 --> 00:19:06,544
However, I'll suspend
that sentence

428
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,278
when restitution is made.

429
00:19:12,133 --> 00:19:13,500
Look, don't worry about a thing.

430
00:19:13,501 --> 00:19:14,701
Just leave it to me.

431
00:19:14,702 --> 00:19:16,503
The meaner they are,
the better I like 'em.

432
00:19:16,504 --> 00:19:18,538
Don't do anything flashy.
Just leave it to me.

433
00:19:18,539 --> 00:19:19,806
BAILIFF:
Anthony Nelson.

434
00:19:19,807 --> 00:19:20,974
That's us.

435
00:19:20,975 --> 00:19:22,976
[?]

436
00:19:25,430 --> 00:19:26,763
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

437
00:19:30,068 --> 00:19:32,870
Uh, Your Honor,
I'm representing Major Nelson.

438
00:19:32,871 --> 00:19:35,539
JUDGE:
Is the arresting officer here?

439
00:19:35,540 --> 00:19:37,124
Officer Anderson, Your Honor.

440
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:43,714
Ah, the defendant is charged
with, uh, going the wrong way

441
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,549
down a one-way street.

442
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:48,219
Uh, sir, I... We plead guilty.
I'd like to pay the fine.

443
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,604
And attempting
to bribe an officer

444
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:52,439
in the performance of his duty.

445
00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:53,540
How do you plead?

446
00:19:55,076 --> 00:19:56,260
A-a-a bribe?

447
00:19:56,261 --> 00:19:57,311
A bribe.

448
00:19:57,312 --> 00:20:00,030
A bribe. A bribe.

449
00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:03,100
Sir, could I talk to my client
a couple of minutes?

450
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:04,068
One minute.

451
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:05,202
One minute.

452
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,005
What's this about a bribe?

453
00:20:09,006 --> 00:20:10,874
You didn't tell me anything
about a bribe...

454
00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:12,376
Roge... Roger,
Roger, I promised...

455
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,910
Wait a minute,

456
00:20:13,911 --> 00:20:17,214
I promised to send his nephew
a model of the X-15, that's all.

457
00:20:17,215 --> 00:20:19,049
That's all?

458
00:20:19,050 --> 00:20:22,018
And he...
We'll fix him.

459
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:29,126
Your Honor, this whole thing
has become ridiculous.

460
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:34,097
I would hardly call an offer
of a model plane a bribe.

461
00:20:38,202 --> 00:20:40,304
What do you have to say to that?

462
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,690
ANDERSON: It wouldn't be an
important bribe to you or to me,

463
00:20:42,691 --> 00:20:45,559
but to a 10-year-old boy,
it would mean a lot.

464
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,228
And he was trying to reach me

465
00:20:48,229 --> 00:20:49,947
through that little boy.

466
00:20:49,948 --> 00:20:52,516
Gee, that's right.

467
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:53,784
I never thought of it that way.

468
00:20:55,987 --> 00:20:58,739
How could you possibly
do that to a little boy?

469
00:20:58,740 --> 00:21:00,857
I don't believe
that you could...

470
00:21:00,858 --> 00:21:02,459
Oh, ahem, well,

471
00:21:02,460 --> 00:21:04,662
if Officer Anderson's going
to take that attitude,

472
00:21:04,663 --> 00:21:07,364
my client and I are not gonna
plead guilty to anything.

473
00:21:08,065 --> 00:21:09,199
Don't worry about a thing.

474
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,001
They made a mistake.
They made me mad.

475
00:21:11,002 --> 00:21:13,671
Since the defendant denies
all the charges,

476
00:21:13,672 --> 00:21:16,307
does the arresting officer wish
to offer evidence?

477
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:17,274
Yes, Your Honor.

478
00:21:17,275 --> 00:21:18,675
I was at the scene.

479
00:21:18,676 --> 00:21:22,012
I saw Major Nelson violating
the ordinances cited.

480
00:21:22,013 --> 00:21:23,180
I object!

481
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,431
JUDGE:
Sit down.

482
00:21:24,432 --> 00:21:26,400
Yes, sir.

483
00:21:26,401 --> 00:21:28,902
For the record, could you
identify Major Nelson?

484
00:21:28,903 --> 00:21:30,404
Certainly, Your Honor.

485
00:21:33,374 --> 00:21:34,742
Major Nelson is right there.

486
00:21:34,743 --> 00:21:36,309
[MAGIC BOINGS]

487
00:21:38,830 --> 00:21:39,830
And there.

488
00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,200
There.

489
00:21:45,503 --> 00:21:46,620
And there.

490
00:21:46,621 --> 00:21:47,854
[LAUGHING]

491
00:21:49,223 --> 00:21:51,709
What are you talking about,
Officer Anderson?

492
00:21:51,710 --> 00:21:53,744
Can you identify Major Nelson
or not?

493
00:21:55,296 --> 00:21:57,831
ANDERSON: My eyes are a
little blurred, Your Honor,

494
00:21:57,832 --> 00:21:59,216
but I-I would like

495
00:21:59,217 --> 00:22:01,968
to show the court
a motion picture I took

496
00:22:01,969 --> 00:22:04,138
of Major Nelson's confession.

497
00:22:04,139 --> 00:22:05,472
I think this will clear up

498
00:22:05,473 --> 00:22:08,107
any questions
the court may have.

499
00:22:08,108 --> 00:22:09,309
Uh, bailiff, please.

500
00:22:09,310 --> 00:22:11,111
[?]

501
00:22:11,112 --> 00:22:13,263
ANDERSON [ON SCREEN]:
<i>Hello, major. Come on in.</i>

502
00:22:16,735 --> 00:22:18,168
<i>Sit down here, major.</i>

503
00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:27,010
[GIGGLES]

504
00:22:28,546 --> 00:22:29,546
<i>[WHACK]</i>

505
00:22:46,231 --> 00:22:48,065
[ALL LAUGHING]

506
00:22:58,410 --> 00:23:00,627
[LAUGHING]

507
00:23:00,628 --> 00:23:01,662
Oh!

508
00:23:04,515 --> 00:23:05,632
[?]

509
00:23:05,633 --> 00:23:06,984
[BOTH LAUGHING]

510
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:08,902
Hey, did you see the look
on Anderson's face

511
00:23:08,903 --> 00:23:09,920
when he ran that film?

512
00:23:09,921 --> 00:23:11,004
Yeah, now, look,

513
00:23:11,005 --> 00:23:12,405
I don't want you
to be too amused,

514
00:23:12,406 --> 00:23:14,708
especially in front of Jeannie.

515
00:23:14,709 --> 00:23:15,876
All right, come on, cool it.

516
00:23:15,877 --> 00:23:18,212
Uh, Jeannie,
would you come out, please?

517
00:23:18,213 --> 00:23:19,746
Did it go well, master?

518
00:23:19,747 --> 00:23:22,582
Oh, yes, yes, it just...
It went fine, Jeannie.

519
00:23:22,583 --> 00:23:24,951
But I don't want you to think
that all police officers

520
00:23:24,952 --> 00:23:26,219
are like Officer Anderson.

521
00:23:26,220 --> 00:23:27,654
Oh, I do not, master.

522
00:23:27,655 --> 00:23:30,023
Good, and in the future, you
just stay out of his way, huh.

523
00:23:30,024 --> 00:23:31,324
Oh, I will, master.

524
00:23:31,325 --> 00:23:33,593
Hey, how about me in there, huh?
Me, was I pretty good?

525
00:23:33,594 --> 00:23:34,994
Maybe I should've been a lawyer?

526
00:23:34,995 --> 00:23:36,096
[CHUCKLING] Yeah, sure.

527
00:23:36,097 --> 00:23:37,497
Hey, you want to stay
for dinner?

528
00:23:37,498 --> 00:23:38,532
No, I've gotta be going.

529
00:23:38,533 --> 00:23:39,899
I'm having trouble with my car.

530
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:41,300
Can I use yours?
Oh, sure.

531
00:23:41,301 --> 00:23:42,502
May I have the keys, please?

532
00:23:42,503 --> 00:23:44,104
Are you going driving,
Major Healey?

533
00:23:44,105 --> 00:23:45,772
No, Jeannie.
I'm going straight home.

534
00:23:45,773 --> 00:23:47,006
I will drive you home.

535
00:23:47,007 --> 00:23:48,047
Sure, you will, yeah.

536
00:23:50,077 --> 00:23:52,445
[ENGINE REVVING]

537
00:23:52,446 --> 00:23:54,447
[?]

538
00:23:54,448 --> 00:23:55,448
Jeannie.

539
00:23:55,449 --> 00:23:56,449
Jeannie!

540
00:23:56,450 --> 00:23:57,483
Wait! Jeannie!

541
00:24:03,407 --> 00:24:04,407
Jeannie!

542
00:24:04,408 --> 00:24:06,927
Oh, oh, good morning, officer.

543
00:24:09,163 --> 00:24:11,030
Watch it, don't turn,
don't turn.

544
00:24:12,049 --> 00:24:13,350
ROGER:
Whoa, Jeannie.

545
00:24:13,351 --> 00:24:15,652
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

546
00:24:15,653 --> 00:24:17,037
Watch it. Tony!

547
00:24:17,038 --> 00:24:18,104
[YELLING]

548
00:24:21,926 --> 00:24:24,011
[?]

549
00:24:24,061 --> 00:24:28,611
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